9/03/2018

Talking About Those Santas For Hire

By James Brooks


Ho ho ho. No? Fine. Not everyone can do it and sound like Santa himself anyway. But for those who actually can sound and look like him, that is impressive. To have the slightly pinkish face, white hair, and white beard? Way to rock Father Christmas. There are a lot of those in Dallas, we hear. So if you are looking for one to host as Mr. Claus himself, then take a walk around the place and get you Dallas Santa For Hire.

Next to think about? Well, remember Radagast from The Hobbit, There and Back Again? That old wizard that always gets high. That funky paranoid fella? Yeah, him. Have a fun party with him as Father Christmas. Imagine him in red instead of brown.

Think about it. It may be risky to get some shady hoodlums to act as Mr. Claus. Especially when in malls, kids are supposed to sit on their laps and talk to them about what they want for Christmas. But when you hire them, they would get money and they would have something to eat during this holiday.

One less sad person, right? And it is only for the holidays. Though, to be honest, the smell might be a problem. How long do you think they have gone without taking a bath? Do we really want those people close to our kids?

Of course, we cannot rule out the other wizard in that franchise. Have Saruman the White give a go at being Father Christmas. He may be evil and cunning, but that would serve as a twist in a Christmas movie when you imagine it. He is certainly a better alternative than our next character on this absurd list.

It is not like The Simpson, though. That one is known as a national thing for America. Both have last more than two decades everybody in the world has probably heard of their names or seen a bit of their art style somewhere. Whether it was on TV or the internet. Same goes for Family Guy and Futurama.

In the case that the Santa you hire tolerates, even adores children, give him an extra tip. They are probably grandfathers who have grandchildren. They are the type to spoil and love children unconditionally no matter how nasty a kid is. These people are admirable. Maybe even at a lower tier than teachers.

Or how about Ser Barristan Selmy? The Commander of the Kings Guard back in Kings Landing. Then he became one to Daenerys Targaryen later. He was as honorable as Ned Stark and as skilled as the Kingslayer, if not more. Someone that precious has to be the perfect one for this.

But if you are a man that also fits the bill, then do it yourself? Cheaper that way, you know? You may even get other people to hire you next year. It will give you additional money on top of your own salary. It serves as a nice back up too in case of emergencies. Plus, this makes a good story to tell your own grandchildren.




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